


The Scent Surrounding Me

by AnotherWriterWhoWrites



Series: 2019 365 Days of Writing [69]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Dean Winchester Has Nightmares, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares, Pre-Series Dean Winchester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-14
Updated: 2019-09-14
Packaged: 2020-10-18 03:47:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20632580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnotherWriterWhoWrites/pseuds/AnotherWriterWhoWrites
Summary: After the fire that changed everything Dean can't sleep at night, surrounded by fire and flames in his dreams. After getting his mom back as well he finds himself in a recurring situation once again.





	The Scent Surrounding Me

_ He can’t stop smelling something, it seemed trapped in his nose and no matter how many times he rubbed at it, it was still there. _

_Dean blinked at daddy who was sitting a few feet away at the table of their uncle's house, he was surrounded by papers and he seemed to be arguing with someone on the phone. He looked to the side where Sammy was laying on a blanket on the ground, hands curling and uncurling along the fabric. _

_Moving slowly he carefully made his way towards Sammy, reaching out to gently pet at his cheek. His brother blinked at him and gave a small gurgling noise. Moving closer to him Dean buried his face in Sammy’s back and breathed in deeply, trying to get rid of the other smell. _

_Their uncle came through the room and smiled at the both of them, holding a brown package in his hands as he went to the kitchen. The kitchen door closed behind him and Dean turned his attention back to Sammy._

_Sammy smelt clean, daddy had given both of them a bath yesterday and Sammy still smelt like the soap and diapers. His baby brother was looking at him, his blue eyes giving way to hazel that Dean couldn’t stop looking at, they were more interesting than anything else in the room and he curled closer to him._

_Daddy got up and kneeled next to them, reaching to stroke over their heads, murmuring lowly that lunch was going to be ready soon and if Dean wanted, they could try to go to the nearby park again._

_He looked up when he heard a loud banging noise coming from the kitchen with small hints of white smoke escaping under the door. Dean swallowed hard as all of a sudden his mouth was filled with saliva and he could feel his body shake._

_The kitchen door suddenly opened uncle was muttering something under his breath and waving his hand, he could see more smoke in the kitchen trying to escape-_

_-The smell of cooking and burning meat rapidly filled the room and before Dean could stop himself his entire body locked up and he threw up onto the carpet. _

\-------

Mom smelled like flowers and a hint of something sweet clinging to her hair, most likely the shampoo that she had last used when she had last been alive. Dean clung to her and fought the urge to bury his face in her shoulder, feeling all of four years old again for a moment. 

He breathed in deeply, a bit selfishly if a corner of his mind was willing to admit, just savoring the feeling of her arms around him again. Her skin was just as soft as he remembered and her scent triggered all sorts of memories that he thought he had forgotten. 

She held onto his hand as they walked towards a town, needing to just find a car for them to hot wire to get to the bunker. Her hands were soft too, he could remember her hands stroking over his face and head, wiping tears away and soothing him, and he squeezed it, reveling in how she squeezed back. 

Everything was a blur as they managed to find a car and got onto the road, driving as fast as he could to show Sam that it was mom, that she was back, that she was alive and was going to be with them again. The entire car ride they spoke, he didn't want to tell too much, after all Sam had plenty to talk to her too and he would no doubt want to talk to her about everything they had faced too. He also refused to let go of her hand, terrified that if he let go she'd disappear again. 

They quickly got her different clothes to change into and then they were on a straight path to the bunker, Dean couldn't stop smiling the entire time, just watching her and letting her flowery scent surround him as much as he could. 

But then once they got to a silent and empty bunker, with nothing but a blood splatter on the ground and no Sam, the smile faded and Dean let himself go onto the warpath.

\-------

_ Dean moved on the bed, curling up into as small a ball as he could hold onto the sheets tightly. His eyes were shut closed as much as he could and he could feel himself trembling. He could almost feel small pinpricks attacking his skin and he coughed, feeling his throat close up. _

_He couldn't breathe, he couldn't breathe and he coughed again. He uncurled himself and fell back onto the bed, trying to force himself to breathe and then he opened his eyes to stare at the ceiling. _

_Fire danced in front of his eyes and that same smell filled the room and he coughed harshly, his entire body wracking from its tremors. _

_"Dean, hey buddy, it's okay." came daddy's voice, and his hands were suddenly there and rubbing at his back. Dean leaned into him and held onto his shirt, trying to breathe in as best as he could. _

_Daddy smelled like something that reminded him of being outside, of climbing a tree and smelling the dirt on the ground, his hands were a bit rough and calloused but familiar and Dean reached out to hold onto his fingers tightly, the only parts that he could really wrapped his hand around. _

_"It's okay Dean, it's okay." daddy repeated in a low murmur, holding him close and continuing to rub at his back. "C'mon kiddo, breathe for me."_

_Dean tried to obey as much as he could, coughing once more but eventually managing to take in a few deep gulps of air. _

_"There we go." John murmured, his voice low and soothing. He shifted the both of them until he was sitting on the bed and just holding Dean close to him. "Think you can try to sleep again?"_

_Dean just shook his head, ducking under daddys' chin and just curling up against his chest. He didn't want to go to sleep again, didn't want to deal with anything again. _

_"Talk to me Dean." daddy whispered, a small pleading tone in his voice. "C'mon kiddo, say something, please."_

_In an answer Dean just curled up tighter to him, trying to breathe through his mouth and focusing on him. _

\-------

After the whole fiasco with the British Men of Letters, and what douches they were, kidnapping and torturing Sam, trying to kill him and mom, they had the gall to turn around and ask for all of them to work together. 

The memory of seeing Sam tied up and obviously tortured on the chair in the basement, the image of Mary choking as that British bitch cursed her, it made his fingers twitch and wish that he had just done what he wanted and put a bullet straight into both of their heads. 

But taking care of his brother took priority over needing revenge, there would be time for revenge later on, he assured himself, and he needed to focus on Sam and helping him recover. 

He had to half carry Sam into the car and through the bunker, his brother could barely stay awake but he obviously forced himself to, just staring at their mom who met his gaze with a small almost sad smile. 

Once he got Sam into his room and set him on the bed he quickly went to his bathroom to grab the first aid kit, wanting to bandage everything and set things as right as he could. 

He smelled the scent of burned flesh before he saw it and he quickly saw the source, a long harsh burn mark on the side of Sams foot, that was the worst of it, but there were a few other spots on Sam's body that had been burned. They had been bandaged beforehand and Dean fought the urge to bare his teeth at it, breathing easily as he ignored the now familiar smell. 

He moved quickly, seeing how Sam was close to nodding off, he needed sleep more than anything else, and Dean's hands moved fast in what he hated was a familiar route, bandaging and cleaning all the wounds that he could reach. His hand came up to stroke at Sam's hair and he watched his brother finally fall asleep.

Later that night when he went to sleep in his room, relaxing into the mattress and closing his eyes all he could dream about was an engulfing flame and the overwhelming scent of burned flesh.

\-------

_ Dean stared down at the book on his lap, not really seeing the pictures or the words. Aimlessly he turned the pages one after the other and when he reached the end, he started it again. _

_His eyes flickered up to the kitchen, his throat closed slightly but it slowly passed, where he could hear daddy and his uncle and aunt arguing with one another. He didn't know what they were saying but daddy's voice sometimes got a bit louder before quieting again so he was sure it wasn't good. _

_There was a small rattling sound and he looked at that instead, seeing Sammy banging an old rattle against the ground, seemingly enthralled with it and the sound that it made. _

_Abandoning the book Dean moved towards his brother, just watching him as Sammy watched the rattle in fascination. When he realized that Dean was close by he held the rattle out to him. _

_Dean reached out and gently took it from Sammy, shaking it and making it rattle as well. Sammy's eyes were wide as he stared at the rattle that was now in Dean's hand, his head following it's shaking slightly. _

_Dean sighed and gave the rattle back to Sammy, who wrapped both hands around the handle and banged it against the ground. Dean reached out once more and stroked his fingers along the back of Sammy's hand, ignoring how their daddy's voice got louder once more. _

_Sammy stared at Dean's hand then and let go of the rattle, reaching out to grasp at Dean's fingers instead, tugging and pulling at them lightly._

_Despite everything Dean felt himself smile slightly and he laid down on the ground next to Sammy, letting him play with his fingers as he wanted. _

_Daddy's and everyone else's voices faded into the distance, he had no idea what they were talking or arguing about and it didn't matter. All that mattered was Sammy playing with his fingers and the slowly filling warmth and the smell of his baby brother surrounding him. _

\-------

Each night was the same after that, nightmares of burning and burnt flesh roasting in flames filled his vision and he couldn't do anything to make them go away. Sometimes he watched his mom burn again, pinned to the ceiling. Sometimes it was Sam. Other times Mary was on the ceiling, Sam was tied to a chair, burning in the same room. Skin melting away to bone and it would always wake Dean up with a scream in his throat. 

There was no reason to have these kinds of nightmares anymore, he was semi passed his time in hell and more importantly he had both his brother and their mom back in their lives. 

But they happened, and they continued to happen with a horrifying increasingly. So in an attempt to stop the nightmares he did the next best thing, he tried to avoid sleep as much as he could, catching small naps here and there to keep going. 

Whenever he got too deep into his sleep, the scent of fire filled his head and he immediately jolted awake, more often than not he felt a hell of a lot more tired than he had before. 

It also didn't escape Sam's or Mary's view that the bags under his eyes were deepening and not going away. 

"Dean, what's wrong?" Mary asked, her gaze piercing through him that was hard to ignore. 

Dean cleared his throat and managed to look away, only to meet Sam's just as intense gaze as well. 

"Nothing's wrong." Dean protested, drinking deeply from his cup of coffee, extra black, no milk, no sugar, just caffeine. "Everything's fine, we're all together."

"Dean, you have enough bags under your eyes to stock up the supermarket." Sam told him. The burns had faded from his skin and everything else had healed over, except that slightly haunted look in his eyes that sometimes deepened. "C'mon, talk to us."

"Nothing to talk about." Dean said with a shrug. "Now I don't know about you but I'm starving so I'm going to start lunch, any requests?"

Neither Sam nor Mary looked convinced but they didn't protest or try to push the subject again. 

"Not really." Sam said, leaning back in his seat, not looking away from his brother. 

"Me either." Mary added, doing the same.

"Alright, good, chef's choice." Dean said, as he got up from the table, taking his cup with him, he missed the shared look between Sam and Mary.

\-------

_ Dean tossed and turned on the bed, hating the space, hating that he could smell smoke in his nose, hated everything about it. _

_He didn't dare look up at the ceiling as he turned in the bed, gripping onto the blanket. He rubbed his face against the pillow, trying to rub the smell away to no avail. He was able to breathe this time so it made things a bit easier. _

_Finally after what seemed forever he sat up and got out of the bed, sliding down and letting his feet hit the ground softly. He hesitated but then moved towards the living room where daddy and Sammy's crib was. Daddy was sleeping on the couch and he kept the crib in the living room with him. Dean had the other room and a bed but now...he didn't want to be there. _

_He glanced at daddy who was asleep on the couch, he wasn't moving really so then Dean turned his attention to the crib. He slowly walked towards it and gripped at one of the bars, looking through it at his brother who was sleeping too. _

_Biting down on his lip he reached for the lock on the side of the crib that he had seen daddy use and carefully opened it, letting the side of the crib open and slide down to the ground. _

_Moving carefully, he climbed into the crib, trying not to jostle Sammy too much. His brother shifted but stayed asleep, a pacifier in his mouth. Dean curled around his brother tightly, hand coming out to grip at his blanket and he felt himself relax a bit more. _

_He started when he felt someone touch his back and wide eyed he looked over his shoulder, tears gathering when he saw that it was daddy. He couldn't really see daddy, it was too dark in the room, but he knew his hand and he knew his eyes, those were clear in the moonlight. _

_Daddy's hands moved to slide under Dean, slowly picking him up from the crib. Dean gripped at Sammy a bit desperately but then loosened it a bit when he realized that daddy was also picking up Sammy too. _

_Daddy moved them so that he could hold them both close to his chest, Dean reached out for one hand to hold onto Sammy and the other to hold onto daddy's shirt. He moved the both of them into the bedroom again and laid down on the bed, still holding them close. _

_"It's alright Dean." John murmured to him, his voice soothing and relaxing him more and more. He moved them so that Dean was in the middle, Sammy was on one side and daddy was on the other. "It's going to be okay."_

_Dean slowly felt himself relax more and more, sighing as he felt so much more sleepy than before. He didn't let go of Sammy or daddy, content in staying where he was. Daddy's arm moved around the both of them and he curled around them. _

_He could smell his daddy all around him with a slight hint of Sammy’s baby smell as well, and those things more than anything, helped to relax him._

_"It's going to be okay Dean." _

\-------

Dean sighed as he fell into the bed, holding onto his sheets for a moment before he let go and turned onto his back, closing his eyes before he could see the ceiling. Despite how tired he felt he knew that he wasn't really going to be able to sleep tonight, just like every other night, but at the very least his bed was comfortable enough not to move just yet. 

Only a few seconds passed before his door opened. He bit back a groan and forced his head up and eyes to open, only to blink when he saw his brother and mom. Both of them were wearing pajamas and had a pillow tucked under their arm. 

Not saying anything Sam moved to Dean's left and Mary moved to his right. Sam shoved Dean into the middle of the bed and placed his pillow on the bed, copied by Mary who did the same. 

The both of them laid down, needing to press close to Dean to not fall off the bed or have any limbs falling over the edge of the bed. 

"Okay, I'll bite." Dean said finally, feeling rather squashed in the middle of the both of them. Mom was small enough that he could move around her, it was Sam that was a giant and therefore took over the bed almost completely. "What's going on?"

"What's it look like?" Sam asked back, moving around and trying to get comfortable as much as possible. "We're all sleeping here tonight and for all nights as long as we need to."

"Why?"

"Because you can lie as much as you want, you can't hide the fact that you're not sleeping." Mary told him. "So we're going to be here to make sure that you can sleep. And we're not going to leave until we know you can sleep by yourself again."

"Guys c'mon, this is ridiculous, there is no way there is enough room on this bed for all of us." Dean protested, trying to move his arms. 

Sam moved his leg to lay across Dean's and over Mary's legs, sliding one arm under the pillow and the other draped over his chest. Mary was doing the same, sliding her leg under Dean's leg instead but doing the same with her arm. 

"We'll all manage." Sam said. "And if we need to, we'll move rooms and find a bigger mattress."

Dean rolled his eyes and grumbled under his breath, but he couldn't deny that it was incredibly warm in bed, not just from Sam being a damn heater, but the knowledge that it was his brother and mother in the bed with him. 

The scent of fire and burning flesh slowly slid away from his mind and all he could smell was the faint smell of Sams soap and a scent that was just Sam that he knew better than any other. Mary's flowery scent also surrounded him and despite himself, he felt himself relax more and more. 

His eyes fluttered shut and a small breath escaped him. Sam's and Mary's scent overpowered the lingering smell of fire and finally it faded completely and he relaxed more into the bed.

"It's going to be okay Dean."

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own Supernatural. 
> 
> 253/365
> 
> I do take requests so if you have requests you can send them to me.
> 
> This is my second work for Supernatural Summergen works.


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